My Case - The Journey of Souls (4) --- Runner and Chaser (Separation)

Our end came, after all, as the universe had programmed, October 2018. When I walked up to him, he rejected me with all his might. And I lost my job with him for good. We stopped seeing each other at all. I wanted to contact him, but I was too scared to do so. In the first place, we were in a professional position, so there was no way I could contact him once my job with him was gone.

I was like an empty old tree in the back half of my body, even though I was myself in the front half. When I went to bed at night, I wished that I would be dead the next morning. When I woke up in the morning, I cried that I was still alive. I cried because the winter glimpses of warm sunlight in Tokyo were cruel to me. The universe really had a plan, and since his rejection, we have not run into each other at all. I stopped hearing any rumors from his colleagues. I cried when I remembered his warm smile. I cried when I remembered his subtle scent. I cried when I saw his name. I cried when I saw the souvenirs he bought for me. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to be near him. But when I thought about it, I realized that he and I were business associates, and he had never seen me from the beginning. He had closed his heart to me since I had rejected him when we first met... I, in my manifest consciousness, had lulled myself into thinking that. And yet, my soul was aching and aching. I had no strength in my body and felt like I had the flu every day.

What was I doing during that period of time except thinking about him? When I try to remember that time, I actually hardly remember it. I thought I was living like a corpse. But now I understand a little. I think I was healing my own wounds and gradually moving toward the light, toward a parallel world, the good one.

By the way, I had a strange ability. It didn't always come up, but it had happened a few times in the past. It's the ability to perceive. It became stronger when my grandfather on my mother's side died. For example, before I knew that my paternal grandmother was in critical condition, I "suddenly" sensed it and immediately called my mother. Less than 10 seconds later, my mother got the call that my grandmother was in critical condition. I was able to perceive it with my "automatic writing." I had found out on the Internet that a friend of mine had died. For some reason, I typed in "XXX death. I was surprised and asked myself, "Why?" I was surprised. Then, at the top of the Google search results, the news of his death came up.

It was the end of February 2019. A word fell from the sky. Yes. I can't believe it, but the word really hit me like a ton of bricks. The word was "twin flame." I had no interest in or knowledge of soul mates or karma at the time. I was in a situation like that, and I thought to myself, "Twin flame? What is this?" At the time, people in Japan were beginning to talk about twin flame, and the Internet was full of information. The more I read, the more it became clear to me.

(1) Various limitations of each other ... age difference (which we don't have), nationality difference, language barrier, religion barrier, position difference in society (he lives all over the world, but I am just an hourly tutor), etc. 

(2) Family members and family environment that are very similar ... We have three siblings, and my brother and his personality are very similar to his. 

(3) Many physical similarities ... Our hands are very small and our hand shapes are similar to each other. So is the placement of our facial parts and so on. Neither of us has red wine in our constitution. 

(4) Many synchronous ... Looking back, when he had a stomach ache, I often had a stomach ache at the exact same time in another place. When I thought, "I miss him," I often found myself suddenly seeing him.

(5) More than physical needs, it gives me a sense of peace of mind that no one else can compare to. ...This was my main decision. I felt more peaceful than anyone else, I didn't need words when we were together, and I even thought that being together was already a peaceful ecstasy. Also, in his presence, the kindest heart I originally had came to the surface. I think it was because my heart chakra was open.I am actually not a good English speaker. I only studied English in college and have never studied abroad or in an English class. However, when I was having an energy exchange with him, I understood all of his English. No, I even understood French perfectly. And I myself was really relaxed in front of him, so I probably could communicate in English better than I could talk to others.

(6) Feel a sense of unity ... This was always felt. It is almost like being in a hot spring, a feeling. When we were together, we melted into one...I always felt a strange sense of oneness. Race, language, religion, everything is different. But when I was with him, I always felt as if we were one.

(7) Loved unconditionally... No matter how coldly he treated me, I could not resent him or blame him. I was just sad. I just accepted whatever he was. He was also the only person I could normally think, "I would die for him." Anyway, I couldn't help but cherish him. I didn't want to hurt him.

(8) Love and at the same time unspoken fear ... The twin flame has a very strong pain when it splits the soul in two. It becomes a birth trauma, and though we love and though we want to love, we cannot love truly. It causes us to want to receive love, to receive 100%, but we cannot. It is from this birth trauma. I wanted to receive love from him, but at the same time I had a very great fear of jumping into his love as it is.

The more I read, the more I remembered us, the more I was convinced. Ah, that's why I cared about him so much. He was the only one I didn't want to hurt. I truly wanted him to be happy, because twin flame love is basically platonic in many aspects.My love for him was truly sacred. I had never had such pure, innocent love for any of the men I had dated, and I could not help but love him unconditionally. No matter who he dated or slept with, I never hated him, I just cared about him. I even loved him when he gave me a poor shake.

Once we realized we were twin flames, I wanted to move on! How could I reunite with him...I sought information. Much of the information said to focus on myself during the time I couldn't see him. So I suppressed my desire to contact him for a while and studied healing my inner child and participated frequently in Twin Flame work. I joined a community of women in separation periods to share information and encourage each other. I also studied energy work. I think it was about that time that my psychic abilities began to sprout little by little.

Still, I could not see him. No matter what I did, reality didn't move, and when I went to his office, I didn't see him. The next thing I knew, I was nodding off again.

In retrospect, I was full of self-absorbed ego, "I want to see him again. I didn't care about what he felt. All I wanted him to accept my feelings, that was all. And even then, I was too afraid to contact him. After all, I hadn't even been able to take action, and I was hanging on again to the invisible thing.

Now, unfortunately, at that time, my spirituality had not yet blossomed that much, so I did not believe in what I call the "cosmic leadership" or the "truth of the universe".

Now, I understand. Twin Flame is a group of souls born for the Ascension of Earth. The Twin Flame program is about learning unconditional love (cosmic love) through partnership and embodying it here on earth. The reason is simple: the energy of love when these two are together is so powerful that it will support the ascension of the Earth. When two people love each other, they bring love and light to those around them, and that love and light will help the Earth ascend in dimension. There will be other Starseed programs and various soul programs. But our role is to bring hope to the world by loving each other on this 3-dimensional Earth. Our love is needed for the ascension of the Earth. That is why the universe interferes with us. It's called "the cosmic call."

Looking back, when I was involved in a huge scam case, the trial went really smoothly thanks to the lawyer and trustee who took care of me. It was also an unbelievable lucky thing that the trustee happened to live in my neighborhood and was very attentive to me. It was truly an arrangement of the universe. Of course, I had no idea at the time.

So, at the beginning of the separation period, I had not yet learned how to "let the universe take charge" and "leave it to the universe" in my soul. I just wanted to see him again, that was all.

In this way, I was spending my time as a runner in the midst of twists and turns.