My case - The Journey of the Soul (3) --- Cricis

In my case, I was always conflicted alone because my love for him was really sacred and I didn't want to hurt him or destroy this peaceful relationship between us. 

I think he was conflicted too. No, I think he gave up on our relationship and distanced himself from me, saying that I rejected him badly. 

I would subtly do things for him and he would always subtly reject me. That was really painful, sad and lonely. Still, I think I did everything I could. I wanted to get closer to him somehow, but there was nothing I could do. 

Even though I felt the shadows of several women behind him, even though I felt frustrated, sad, and resigned that I could do nothing, I still could not leave him or give up on him. This is the same thing that everyone who has been through the Twin Flames program says. 

At the time, I had so many men asking me out on dates and proposing to me, but I just couldn't accept those invitations. 

I always felt in the back of my mind that I didn't want to lose him, that if I lost him I would disappear. There was always a light in his eyes that connected us both. When I touched him, through his voice, I always felt the love in my soul. His careful manner in which he handled things with care, his shy smile, his humility in sacrificing himself for his work, everything was lovely. And my heart was always touched by his subtle kindness. 

That is why every time I saw him at work, my soul would calm down and I would think, 

"Oh, I'm so glad I turned down other's proposal!"

" 'Oh, I'm so glad I didn't date that man. If I had dated him, we definitely would have ended up having sex." 

I was relieved that I had made the right choice. But in reality, he never stepped up to me, and my heart began to break more and more. 

I sought help from partnership counseling, fortune telling, and various other sources, and finally the bills became too much. And then I had the terrible experience of being scammed through the fortune-telling. 

I can say now, "This was all a necessary experience for me to return to the light (awakening). But I was not in such a situation at that time. I could not talk to anyone about him or the fraud case, and I continued to suffer alone. Of course, I have not recovered yet. But I believe that this is also a necessary part of my soul's growth process. 

 So, in my case, rather than clashing with him, my ego to protect my position as a teacher and my desire for him to "look at me" were at work in my relationship with him, and I suffered alone and broke down...this was stage 3.