My Case - The Journey of Souls(2) --- Testing

He was really nice, and he was really high on my list. And I really cared about him and didn't want to hurt him only him. However, I thoroughly hurt him because of my job position. When we first met, he also approached me. He was very shy and always subtly asked me out on dates, always with the intention of being very shy. I was so happy that I wanted to jump straight into his arms every time. But because of my work position, I had no choice but to keep a poker face. I hurt him many times. He began to avoid me <in private>. I was really sad.

The day before I met him, I was so happy that I really couldn't sleep. I felt like Cinderella every time. Two more days, one more day, one more hour until I could meet him... I was going to his work with my heart racing, but with a poker face.

I really loved hearing his stories about his hometown. He always had so many stories to tell me about his childhood, his family, his school days, when he was in Africa, and it was like I was in a dream to hear it in his voice, which I loved. Plus, I loved his intellect. He was a man of knowledge, especially in the field of history. I enjoyed listening to him explain history to me.I never wanted the lessons to end...when they did, I would be Cinderella again. Oh, how can I hold back my rising heart until I see him next time?

I loved his careful manners. He patiently kept pace with me as I walked slowly. When it was cold at night, he would subtly wall me up to keep me out of the winter wind. He rarely missed a lesson. When there was a bake sale at his work, he went out of his way to buy cakes for me. He always showed his love for me in a subtle way. I was so happy that I wanted to cry every time. I even wanted to jump into his chest right away and stay with him forever as it was. By the way, he is 30 centimeters taller than me. But our hands are almost the same size and shape. I asked him, "Why are you so tall and you have such small hands?" I once teased him.

But he goes to the Philippines frequently. I think she is his new girlfriend. I think he also had girlfriends in Japan. He was going out on dates frequently. Whenever he said "We---." I felt a sadness that tore my heart out of my chest every time. After he started avoiding me <in private>, I alternated between the joy of seeing him and the sadness of him going out with other women, like a roller coaster. Strangely, I didn't feel like hating him. Anyway, I was sad. Even though I was so close to him, I was the only one who knew his facial expressions, his gestures, in such detail.

From then on, I began to comfort myself with relationship counseling and fortune telling. Still, seeing him soothed my soul. I want to be with him. I want to be with him forever and ever. But in my position, I should never have done it.

Moreover, I also had a huge complex. He is such a wonderful man, but I.... I didn't have enough confidence in myself to compete with all the other women who were trying to get him.

And when I casually asked him out to dinner, he just turned me down. He had a cold, and when I contacted him out of concern, he totally ignored me. I guessed he had a girlfriend. I was sad and cried. I cried happy tears and sad tears over and over again.

I cried many times because I was sad and wondered why he did not respond to my feelings although I had hurt him from myself. But I couldn't say anything and went into desperation. Of course, he didn't know that. At the time, other men often asked me out on dates. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had a feeling that if I slept with other men, I would lose him for the rest of my life.

I genuinely loved only him. I just had faith in him. I even have the confidence to say that I loved him more than anyone else. Whether he became a beggar or he committed a crime, I was the only one who would stay on his side until the end...I always thought so. Even if he turned the whole world against me, I was absolutely sure that I would protect him. At this time, my heart chakra was already open and every time I saw him, every time I thought of him, I was filled with love.